By Dave Barry
Pulitzer Prize-winning stand-up comedian Dave Barry is an exquisite amiable man. yet in recent years, he is been getting a bit labored up. What can make a mild-mannered guy of phrases so sizzling lower than the collar? good, loads of things-like undesirable public paintings, web millionaires, SUVs, Regis Philbin ... or even higher difficulties, just like the slower-than-deceased-livestock left-lane drivers who it appears think that the correct lane is sacred and mustn't ever are available in direct touch with tires The parent-misery quotient of last-minute university technology reasonable tasks Day buying and selling and different careers that by no means require you to take off your bathrobe The plague of the low-flow bogs, that is so undesirable that even in Miami, the place you should purchase medicines simply by establishing your entrance door and yelling "Hey! i need a few crack, "you cannot even promote your first born to get a normal-flushing bathroom Dave Barry isn't really taking any of this sitting down. he'll rise up for the rights of all american citizens opposed to ridiculously named distinctiveness "--Chino "coffees and the IRS. simply once he will get the darn rest room flushed. From the exchange Paperback edition. Read more...
summary: Pulitzer Prize-winning stand-up comedian Dave Barry is a fine looking amiable man. yet in recent years, he is been getting a bit labored up. What can make a mild-mannered guy of phrases so scorching lower than the collar? good, loads of things-like undesirable public artwork, web millionaires, SUVs, Regis Philbin ... or even greater difficulties, just like the slower-than-deceased-livestock left-lane drivers who it sounds as if think that the precise lane is sacred and mustn't ever are available direct touch with tires The parent-misery quotient of last-minute tuition technological know-how reasonable tasks Day buying and selling and different careers that by no means require you to take off your bathrobe The plague of the low-flow bogs, that's so undesirable that even in Miami, the place you should purchase medications simply by starting your entrance door and yelling "Hey! i need a few crack, "you cannot even promote your first born to get a normal-flushing rest room Dave Barry isn't taking any of this sitting down. he will rise up for the rights of all americans opposed to ridiculously named distinctiveness "--Chino "coffees and the IRS. simply once he will get the darn rest room flushed. From the exchange Paperback version
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Maintain a record of your research. Remove food wads trapped between your teeth. If you were given the opportunity to ask one question of the Pope, what would that question be? ” You write a column containing a so-called “joke” that is so tasteless, insensitive, juvenile, vicious, and cruel that thousands of readers write or call the newspaper to state that they are deeply offended. You should: Apologize to them in a column. Apologize to them in a public forum. Threaten to cancel their subscriptions.
This title was selected for two reasons: It reflects the fact that, while on a superficial level, this work may appear to be “humorous,” its underlying theme, its raison d’être, is the expression of deep concern—and, yes, outrage—about the forces of ignorance, injustice, oppression, and profound moral decay that beset American society today. It meant we could put a toilet on the cover. Politically Correct So there I was, sitting under the hot lights, when suddenly Vicki Lawrence leaped to her feet and started yelling at me about the death penalty.
Threaten to cancel their subscriptions. SCORING: If you answered “c” to all of these questions, then you might have potential as a humor columnist. But I warn you: There is a lot of work involved. For example, in this book you’ll find two columns I wrote about Paris. To produce those two columns, I had to spend two weeks in Paris conducting tax-deductible research in various cafés so I could provide my readers with solid information about issues such as exactly where Paris is (not in Italy, it turns out) and what the French people are thinking (they’re thinking that we’re morons).